Bob will have a great time no matter who he sits with.

Aunt Sadie and Aunt Jess will throw a fit if they aren’t together, but Aunt Lilly and Aunt Roberta will throw a fit if they are anywhere near Aunt Sadie and Aunt Jess.

When Uncle Lou gets drunk, his conservative, racist side really shows and he starts the rest of his family going.

Uncle George is a devout communist.

Aunt Belle needs easy access to the bathroom.

Saul will be upset if he’s not near the bar.

Billy is gay and Jewish.

And it went on and on from there.

I knew enough about both families (after asking a few questions to confirm my ideas about his side) to be able to put together a seating chart. I told both my mom and his mom (both of whom hate conflict) that I’d wasn’t going to show it to them until I was done. When I had finished, I circled a few people and ‘X’d a few places where some changes could be made but was very firm on the point that these were the ONLY changes that could be made. I don’t think they were thrilled, but I knew I would go crazy trying to please everyone because neither one of them knew the family dynamics of the other side nor did they really know about the dynamics of my and the groom’s friends.

And you know what? With one exception (and that person would only have been happy if I put him/her in the one place I was definitely NOT going to put him/her) everyone was happy and I heard no complaints. Everyone was with at least one person they knew. Two-somes who didn’t know anyone but the person they came with were grouped together so they wouldn’t feel left out from a larger group. Solo folks who didn’t know anyone were placed with people who have phenomenal social graces and most people were dancing the night away anyway because our Mike Staff Productions DJ, Jimi, was so fantastic!

My advice: ask some preliminary questions about people you don’t know that well if you need to and then do the chart yourself behind closed doors. And be firm and stick to your guns about the chart you make up when it is done, allowing for only a small number of changes.

John